The Babylon Bee
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THE BEE WEEKLY: Free Will and the Problem of Drunk Driving Elephants

Kyle and Ethan are joined by our friendly neighborhood professor of theology, Dr. Thaddeus Williams. He is the author of Confronting Injustice Without Compromising Truth and God Reforms Hearts: Rethinking Free Will and the Problem of Evil. As usual, they dig into the weird news of the week, but they also get an update from Ethan’s wife about her experience getting a mandatory jab and talk to Dr. Williams about how free will doesn’t get God off the hook for all the evil in the world.

First, the guys get an update from Ethan’s wife Jess about what happened to her after getting a mandatory jab so she could keep her job. Then, the Bee wishes Bill Powers a very happy and healthy 75th birthday! The guys try to think of their stories of being 18 years old for a Subscriber Dare since they will do just about anything for money. The weird news keeps coming and this week it includes naked stabbing matches, a romantic man stealing 50 cars for his 16 girlfriends, and Sri Lanka banning the drunk driving of elephants. They also get updates on Larry Elder being the black face to white supremacy, a ladybug living in some dude’s colon, and another record smashed by the person with perhaps the world record in number of world records.

Kyle and Ethan ask Dr. Thaddeus Williams some meaty theological questions about free will and the problem of evil related to his new book coming out called God Reforms Hearts: Rethinking Free Will and the Problem of Evil. Following the main course, The Bee always has a dessert of sweet hate mail, which The Bee always shares with its loyal listeners. In the subscriber-exclusive lounge, Kyle, Ethan, and Thaddeus read subscriber-pitched headlines, bonus hate mail, talk about Calvinism a bit, and then give Thaddeus the Next Ten Questions.

https://babylonbee.com/podcast/basic/233

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Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person

"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."

https://babylonbee.com/news/barron-tries-to-blend-in-on-campus-by-putting-his-knees-in-his-shoes-and-walking-around-like-a-normal-height-person

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Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals

"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."

https://babylonbee.com/news/healthy-vegan-food-carefully-constructed-in-laboratory-using-957-chemicals

February 19, 2025

Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine

"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."

https://babylonbee.com/news/congress-warns-trumps-attempts-to-end-war-in-ukraine-could-result-in-end-of-war-in-ukraine

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