TEXAS—Border Patrol workers in Texas are used to monitoring the state's southern border, which it shares with Mexico. But now, they are stretched thin as they are having to monitor the other borders for hordes of unborn babies coming to Texas to seek asylum from their states' more liberal abortion laws.
Massive caravans of unborn babies began migrating toward Texas after learning the state had banned most abortions. Jumping out of their mothers' wombs and piling into cargo vans and busses, the unborn babies flocked to the state in hopes that they won't be killed by their mothers.
"Yeah, I finally decided it was time to seek a better life for me and my future family," said Aiden Ryder, -1 month old, as he got behind the wheel of a Ford 15-passenger van packed with other babies. "I'm in New York, so really, my chances of dying are much higher than a convicted sex offender or murderer. It's worth the dangerous trek through the country to try to save my life."
Texas is accepting the refugees but Border Patrol says it will take some time to process them. And Texas Democrats are now threatening to fly to Washington, D.C. or some tropical vacation locale to protest the immigrants being let into the state. Texas Republicans are delighted by this offer.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
