TEXAS—Border Patrol workers in Texas are used to monitoring the state's southern border, which it shares with Mexico. But now, they are stretched thin as they are having to monitor the other borders for hordes of unborn babies coming to Texas to seek asylum from their states' more liberal abortion laws.
Massive caravans of unborn babies began migrating toward Texas after learning the state had banned most abortions. Jumping out of their mothers' wombs and piling into cargo vans and busses, the unborn babies flocked to the state in hopes that they won't be killed by their mothers.
"Yeah, I finally decided it was time to seek a better life for me and my future family," said Aiden Ryder, -1 month old, as he got behind the wheel of a Ford 15-passenger van packed with other babies. "I'm in New York, so really, my chances of dying are much higher than a convicted sex offender or murderer. It's worth the dangerous trek through the country to try to save my life."
Texas is accepting the refugees but Border Patrol says it will take some time to process them. And Texas Democrats are now threatening to fly to Washington, D.C. or some tropical vacation locale to protest the immigrants being let into the state. Texas Republicans are delighted by this offer.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
