WASHINGTON, D.C.—Vice President Kamala Harris has developed a bad habit, which White House staffers are trying to train her to not do. Any time the phone rings in her office in the West Wing, Harris immediately scrambles for it and answers it with an expectant, “Did he die?!”
“That’s just not a professional way to answer the phone,” Ronald Klain, President Joe Biden’s Chief of Staff, told her.
“Well, what am I supposed to say?” Harris asked.
“Try, ‘Hello.’”
The phone rang again. Harris immediately grabbed it and said, “Hello, did he die?”
Klain told her that still wasn’t appropriate.
“I just care a lot about Joe and his health,” Harris explained. “And he’s seemed particularly old lately. So—”
There was a knock at the door. Harris ran for the door and opened it, yelling, “Did he die, and you’ve come to tell me in person?!” But it was just an Amazon delivery. “Rats!”
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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'Don't Let Anyone Take Your Power,' Tipsy Aunt Kamala Tells Confused Five-Year-Olds At Thanksgiving Kids' Table
"Do not let anyone steal your...your power," Harris reportedly said as the children glanced at each other awkwardly. "Riley, listen up, honey," she continued, addressing one girl as Harris slowly blinked and swayed gently from side to side. "Girl, you hear what I am sayin'? Never ever let anybody take your power from you."
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- "My AI Can Understand Kamala" - Silicon Valley Tech Donors are invited to a "SharkTank" styled SCRUM Developers Meeting. Algorithm discussion lasts 18 minutes, followed by the AI Model attempting to interpret Kamala in Real-Time for 5 minutes.
- "Is Govt Worker as Smart as Amish Farmer?" - Contestants are approached on the streets of Washington DC and asked about their support for "Green" and "Carbon Neutral" solutions. Soon after, Contestants get to "Prove Their Brilliant Ideas" (without electricity or gas/diesel engines), as Amish Men (and Women) provide "play-by-play" commentary.
- "Learn to Code: DC Bureaucrat Edition" - Contestants (aka. Federal Employees) spend 80 hours a week making a...
Hungover Kamala Harris Gets Sinking Feeling While Checking If She Drunk-Posted Anything Yesterday
"Oh man, what did I say," wondered Harris, frantically flipping through her feed. "Ten thousand messages asking if I am okay... that is a bit above average. Not good, Kamala. I kind of remember being on a Zoom call? Crap, what did I say??"
