The Babylon Bee
Comedy • News • Culture
Fake news you can trust.
Interested? Want to learn more about the community?

Learn more first
New York Restaurant Adds Voting Booth So They Can Allow People In Without ID

NEW YORK, NY—In an effort to circumvent the city’s vaccine passport regulations, a midtown eatery has installed a voting booth and designated itself as a polling place so it can allow in anyone without any ID at all.

Mikey’s Eats did a brisk business on the day, as the front of the restaurant was crowded by protestors for/against vaccines, for/against vaccine mandates, and for/against vote fraud. The protestors frequently lost track of who they wanted to yell at, changed sides, and dejectedly walked into the restaurant to console themselves with the chef’s special avocado burger.

A lawyer for the ACLU was also present. He spent the day alternating between threatening the restaurant with lawsuits, congratulating them for their commitment to democracy, and openly weeping.

Owner Mikey DeCarlo said, “A guy from [Mayor] de Blasio’s office came by and said he was going to shut us down, except for the voting booth part which he said he would defend to the death. Then he asked if he could get an avocado burger in the voting booth. He was crying a lot.”

post photo preview
Interested? Want to learn more about the community?

Learn more first
What else you may like…
Videos
Posts
🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

00:50:59
February 19, 2025

Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person

"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."

https://babylonbee.com/news/barron-tries-to-blend-in-on-campus-by-putting-his-knees-in-his-shoes-and-walking-around-like-a-normal-height-person

February 19, 2025

Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals

"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."

https://babylonbee.com/news/healthy-vegan-food-carefully-constructed-in-laboratory-using-957-chemicals

February 19, 2025

Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine

"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."

https://babylonbee.com/news/congress-warns-trumps-attempts-to-end-war-in-ukraine-could-result-in-end-of-war-in-ukraine

Available on mobile and TV devices
google store google store app store app store
google store google store app tv store app tv store amazon store amazon store roku store roku store
Powered by Locals