BROOKLYN, NY—After a weeks-long trial, R&B Singer R. Kelly has been found to be an evil abuser, guilty of the crimes of racketeering and sex trafficking while failing to be the son of the President.
"Living the Hunter Biden lifestyle while failing to be Hunter Biden is a very serious offense," said prosecutors to the media. "We are seeking the maximum sentence of life in prison for this horrific crime."
According to legal experts, you should always make sure you are the white, wealthy son of a U.S. President before engaging in sex trafficking and racketeering. Since R. Kelly callously failed to do that, he will go to prison instead of making millions of dollars and being awarded a job as a college professor like Hunter Biden.
"We are so pleased Justice has been served today," said prosecutors. "We hope this serves as a reminder that you should always check to make sure you are a member of the powerful elite class before engaging in Hunter Biden-like activity."
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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As one of the few sane people in MA - THANK YOU - for that article about MA just now ie the entire state is declared incompetent! I sent you a one-time donation of $25 just for that. I tell them that all the time too. :)
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
