WASHINGTON, D.C.—With his "Build Back Better" agenda in jeopardy, President Biden has begun following various congresswomen into the restroom to negotiate the bill.
"This is all just part of the process folks, it happens to everybody," he said as he followed Senator Lisa Murkowski into the restroom with a cell phone camera. "This is how we conduct negotiations around here, Jack!"
"Every woman that knows me personally has had a guy follow them into the restroom," he continued. "Every single one! But hey, that's why I always liked to hang out by the locker rooms, a great place to meet the ladies. And then you get close enough to smell some hair, show the leg hair, it's all part of politics! Hey, look there at that little one, that girl in the front row, hey cutie! How old are you and your pigtails?" Biden asked as the girl ran screaming.
According to sources, Biden is also following men into the restroom, giving them a choice to either vote for his bill, or get a chain wrapped around their heads.
While some liberals did express a bit of discomfort with filming women as they used the restroom, most felt Senator Sinema really had brought this on herself.
When questioned about Biden's practice of bathroom negotiations, Press Secretary Psaki responded, "Aw, that's classic Uncle Joe! Gotta love it!"
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
