BURBANK, CA—The brilliant and courageous writers at DC Comics have announced that Superman is now gay, and his pronouns are they/them as he is also non-binary. Now, instead of Kryptonite, he will be rendered completely powerless by anyone who addresses him using the wrong pronouns.
"I'll finally defeat Superman! He's such a liberal snowflake!" says right-wing transphobe Lex Luthor to reporters in the latest issue.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cries gay Superman in response as he withers to the ground in shrieks of agony. "I'm non-binary! It should be 'THEY is such a snowflake!' EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Writers confirmed that gay Superman will gay-save the world and gay-stop hate crimes with his gay superpowers. He will be completely impervious to Kryptonite but will be powerless against right-wing talk show hosts and trans-exclusionary radical feminist authors. First and foremost, he will be very, very gay.
"We are so proud to break new ground with this stunning, brave, totally expected, and culturally fashionable change to the Superman character," said writer Tom Taylor. "We look forward to selling dozens and dozens of copies."
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
As one of the few sane people in MA - THANK YOU - for that article about MA just now ie the entire state is declared incompetent! I sent you a one-time donation of $25 just for that. I tell them that all the time too. :)
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."