NASHVILLE, TN—According to sources, comedian Dave Chappelle was canceled by 30 trans people on Twitter last week, spelling certain death for his career. This week, however, the career of the world-famous comedian is looking bright as he has now been hired by conservative media outlet The Daily Wire.
The new Daily Wire exclusive, entitled The David Chappelle Show, will feature Dave's raw and honest thoughts on cancel culture, politics, and racial issues in America.
"We really wanted the perspective of a black person at The Daily Wire," said Jeremy Boreing, CEO and god-king of the right-wing media empire. "We were told Candace Owens doesn't count since she's basically white or something. We love our friend David, and his zany brand of off-color humor! We now declare him UNCANCELED!"
Sources say Chappelle will be the only person at the Daily Wire allowed to tell racist jokes on his show, much to the dismay of Daily Wire host Andrew Klavan.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
