AMERICAN FORK, UT—Kyrsten Fribsey, a local mom and recovering shiplap addict, reportedly began wondering if she might be transgender after she drove around town to run errands without incident.
Suspicions that she may actually be a man trapped in a woman’s body began to well up inside her after she parked her minivan at Target without having to leave a note on the windshield of the vehicle next to her.
Later, according to sources, she parallel-parked perfectly the very first time, without even scuffing her car wheels on the curb. “Am I a misgendered man?” wondered Mrs. Fribsey as she changed lanes on the interstate without checking her blindspot the usual 17 times.
“Have I been living a lie?” She tearfully asked herself after not leaving her turning signal on for seven miles.
Her concerns were put to rest, however, when she arrived home and her husband patiently pointed out the severed gas pump nozzle hanging from her gas tank.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
