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Facebook Introduces New Virtual Reality Pods To Plug You Into Metaverse

MENLO PARK, CA—Genius billionaire and totally human Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has announced he is building a brand new virtual reality world for everyone to live in, which he calls the "Metaverse." To help everyone plug in and get completely immersed in the virtual world, Facebook Meta has introduced high-tech virtual reality pods.

"Our Meta-Pods are state of the art," said Zuckerberg in his classic warm and fully-human way. "You will submerge yourself in this gooey clear jelly for maximum comfort, and simply plug this giant cable into your head! And the pods are very energy efficient since they use a form of fusion to convert your body's energy into electricity! Cool!"

Meta has partnered with the U.S. Government to provide pods for every person in America, which will be delivered to everyone's homes next week. To incentivize people to jump into the exciting new virtual universe, the Biden Administration will implement a 300% tax increase for anyone who doesn't use the pod for at least 6 hours per day.

"We know how much you all love Facebook and how Facebook has made the world a better place," said Zuckerberg. "We're excited to give you more Facebook by immersing you in it 24/7! You're welcome!"

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

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February 19, 2025

Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person

"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."

https://babylonbee.com/news/barron-tries-to-blend-in-on-campus-by-putting-his-knees-in-his-shoes-and-walking-around-like-a-normal-height-person

February 19, 2025

Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals

"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."

https://babylonbee.com/news/healthy-vegan-food-carefully-constructed-in-laboratory-using-957-chemicals

February 19, 2025

Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine

"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."

https://babylonbee.com/news/congress-warns-trumps-attempts-to-end-war-in-ukraine-could-result-in-end-of-war-in-ukraine

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