Hey everyone, sorry it’s been a while since I’ve updated this blog. It’s just been crazy around here!
Mommas, here's a hard truth: if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of anyone around you! If you're anything like me, you struggle with feeling selfish when yoga class interferes with your kid's first Little League game. You have simply got to give yourself permission to be selfish!
Also, has anyone seen Aiden? I thought he was playing at our neighbors', but I just got out of a massage and saw on Facebook that they’re in Portugal! I know, right? Who vacations in Portugal? It's like, hello, Paris is right there! Anyhow, I'll call the Chick-Fil-A manager and see if Aiden is stuck in the slide again. Brad has always been such a sweetheart to check the slides when he's locking up for the night.
Anyway, here are a few self-care tips I've learned over however many years I've been a parent. First, learn how to say "no", especially to things that cause you stress! For years, I used to get SO stressed about parent-teacher conferences, what with all the queries about how to get my eldest to wear clothes and not pee in the sink. So, I learned to just say no. They will keep calling; you just stay strong, momma!
Second, your body is a temple, so pay attention to what you're putting in it. Plan ahead with what you are mixing with your vodka, to make sure you're getting all the vitamins you need. A little orange juice here, tomato juice there, and a One-A-Day women's gummy will have you feeling ready to climb that mountain!
I could have sworn Aiden was on his Macbook playing Minecraft just a few minutes ago, but when I went to refill my large novelty wine glass, he wasn't there. Weird!
Finally, treat yourself! Is your leg hurting from trying to rock the baby's swing while you watch Bridgerton? You buy that robot swing that senses movement, a monitor with a three-mile radius, and get you some shopping therapy! If you don't feel good about your purse, that's the sort of tension your baby can sense. Let it go, girl!
Ladies, I hope you know you are worth it, you deserve it, and that you will call me if you see Aiden. He's around six years old (?), brownish hair, and however tall that age is supposed to be.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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GALLIFREY—Reports indicate that just as the fallen Doctor was regenerating into a strong, powerful, diverse female, the 14th Doctor has instead taken the form of Doctor Jordan Peterson. What was certain to be the most stunning and brave—and not to mention the lowest-rated—season yet, has now been subverted entirely by the emergence of Doctor Peterson as the newest Time Lord.
“It’s like no—if you betray yourself, if you say untrue things, you weaken your character,” said Dr. Peterson when asked why he returned as a man. “For God sakes, you just can’t bloody well live with that kind of paradox in life, lying to yourself.”
Sources say the new Doctor wasted no time in setting his space and time traveling T.A.R.D.I.S in order, and visiting some of the worst parts and greatest villains from history. He first visited the Cybermen telling them if they actually wanted to call themselves men, then they could start by cleaning their own room.
“It isn’t obvious to me how ...
UKRAINE—As Russian troops assemble at Ukraine's border ahead of a possible land invasion, President Biden has taken swift action by deploying an elite seal team to evacuate his son Hunter's money.
"At my direction, military operatives infiltrated a bank to evacuate my son's stash of sweet, sweet Burisma cash before Russia murdered everyone. I didn't want to risk that money falling into the wrong hands," said Biden in a statement to congress. "Unfortunately, we haven't been able to evacuate Americans from the country because I put all our resources on this operation. But make no mistake, we will leave no dollar behind."
The four-man squad was dropped into ally territory by a Black Hawk helicopter outfitted for stealth missions. Once on the ground, they covertly asked for directions to the nearest bank and shared an Uber to make the 4-mile journey.
Bank security footage depicts the squad calmly entering the bank and asking for the manager. The squad then assembled in a tiny cubicle to ...
TRENTON, NJ—In a landmark ruling handed down in a lower-level family court Monday, Judge Marcus Parsons ruled that a husband can in fact be held responsible for actions taken completely in his wife's fevered imagination during her dreams.
The ruling sent shockwaves through the husband community, as husbands may now be liable for cheating, negligence, and even bizarre and brutal murders they commit in their wife's mind.
In this particular case, Judge Parsons ruled that defendant Henry Wallace would be criminally and civilly responsible for cheating on his wife in her dream. She claimed that Wallace went to a whorehouse in the Old West in her dream the previous night and should be prosecuted for this. After his visit, he reportedly hijacked an Apache attack helicopter and bombed the Statue of Liberty before riding a giant cat into space, where he intended to cheat on her with millions of space women, and then she woke up.
"I don't remember doing any of that!" he protested. "How on earth...
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