WASHINGTON, D.C.—Inflation is out of control, but President Joe Biden has a dynamic solution to that problem: a giant money hose. This has so far been his solution to every other problem he has faced, but he’s especially certain it will help with inflation.
“I just need Congress to fill my money hose, and then I’m going to fire it at everything!” Biden explained, prepping his hose. “If you see a problem, you just fire the money hose at it—that’s been my philosophy for my 87 years in Congress. Has that philosophy ever failed me? I don’t know; I’ve been too busy firing a giant money hose to pay attention.”
While most people support the firing of a giant money hose at everything, the policy has drawn a few critics. Some economists even say that the giant money hose could contribute more to inflation. “When you fire lots of money at everything out of a giant hose, that can devalue money,” explained economist Brian Collier in a high-pitched nerd voice, using a bunch of lingo no one could understand.
Still, Biden is undeterred and continues to fire his money hose at every problem he can see—though he mainly seems to be aiming the money hose at his cronies. But maybe if you cheer for Biden loudly enough, he’ll fire it at you!
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
