BETHESDA, MD—While performing a routine colonoscopy of President Biden, doctors at the Walter Reed Medical Center made a surprising discovery inside the President’s colon: 85,000 Trump ballots.
“At first we were incredulous as to what the monitor showed, assuming it was another massive hairball similar to those we’d been seeing throughout the procedure,” said lead colonoscopologist Dr. Cole Collins, “After I zoomed and enhanced it, the picture clearly showed a mass of trump ballots that appeared to have been lodged in there for over 12 months.”
A hospital representative said there was a delay in counting the trump ballots after the intensive removal process, citing a severe shortage of volunteers, but that they did indeed count 85,000 ballots right before the FBI raided the facility with truckloads of industrial shredders.
Upon hearing the news of the lost ballots, Donald Trump’s legal team presented a lawsuit demanding a public colonoscopy of the entire Democratic Party.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
