MENLO PARK, CA—With all his employees out of town to enjoy Thanksgiving with friends and loved ones, Mark Zuckerberg is taking the time to sit down with his virtual metaverse family and eat some virtual turkey.
"Our Metaverse technology has completely revolutionized the way we celebrate Thanksgiving," said Zuckerberg. "Instead of sitting down with real people, who are gross and smelly and unvaccinated and conservatives, we can simulate thanksgiving with a virtual family!" Zuckerberg then simulated passing the gravy to an NPC resembling his grandmother.
"Mmmmm! This turkey looks hot and delicious! Now, I simply press the button on my right controller to simulate eating it. Wow—now that's what I call a meaningful Thanksgiving experience!"
Zuckerberg's virtual Thanksgiving was cut short, however, when Russian trolls entered the virtual dining room and began virtually debating politics.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."