WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a bold, yet unsurprising move, the Biden administration presented the case in favor of abortion by calling their first expert witness, Satan.
“Your honors, we would like to call our first expert witness to the stand, the Father of Lies,” said the administration’s head attorney over baby murder, Lloyd Butcher. “The Great Red Dragon’s experience as a consultant with some of history’s most heinous and barbaric civilizations makes him more than qualified to give an expert opinion on the matter of abortion.”
Some Supreme Court justices appeared uncomfortable as the Angel of the Bottomless Pit took the stand, wearing a tailored suit and filling the courtroom with malevolent odors of sulfur and brimstone. Justice Sotomayor seemed fine.
Responding to the question about whether a fetus is a living being, Beelzebub replied with a protracted speech in a silky-smooth voice, weaving through notions of heartbeats, cell division, statistics, historical precedent, the basic human rights of having successful careers, and lifestyle convenience.
By the end of Satan’s effusion of worldly justifications for destroying an innocent life, nearly everyone in the courtroom was nodding along in agreement, eyes glazed over.
Justice Amy Coney Barrett stood, cast the Adversary back into the eternal pits of Hell, then went back to her knitting.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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As one of the few sane people in MA - THANK YOU - for that article about MA just now ie the entire state is declared incompetent! I sent you a one-time donation of $25 just for that. I tell them that all the time too. :)
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
