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Man Immediately Granted Sainthood After Returning Shopping Cart To Corral

LOS ANGELES, CA—Local man Mick Paulson was immediately canonized as a Christian saint after he returned his shopping cart to the corral following a grocery shopping trip Friday afternoon.

After the man walked the extra 17 steps to the corral and pushed his cart all the way forward, light shone from the heavens upon his head, and a voice boomed from the heavens: "This is my beloved servant, Saint Mick of Los Angeles, and in him I am well pleased."

The voice later turned out to be a homeless person, but nonetheless, Paulson was granted sainthood. "I'm not really a hero or anything," the humble Paulson said, shrugging. "I'm just being a good citizen, doing what anyone else would do for me."

Paulson is to be honored on a set of collectible candles at Hobby Lobby. In addition, his face will appear on stained glass windows in churches across the country, and the Eastern Orthodox church will worship his fingernail clippings, sources confirmed at publishing time.

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

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May 09, 2026

UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion

"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."

https://babylonbee.com/news/ufo-files-reveal-aliens-here-and-already-defrauded-minnesota-for-20-billion

May 09, 2026

Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws

"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrat-effort-to-retake-congress-once-again-thwarted-by-existence-of-laws

May 08, 2026

Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote

"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."

https://babylonbee.com/news/virginia-considering-new-measure-that-just-makes-it-illegal-for-republicans-to-vote

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