WORLD—Publishers of Bibles around the world are scrambling to put warning stickers on all printed copies of Scripture. This comes after several people complained that the text includes major spoilers for a hit TV show based on the life of Christ called The Chosen.
Dozens of different Bible translations will now include a warning label reading, "SPOILER ALERT: this book may contain spoilers for the next season of the hit show The Chosen."
"Imagine my shock when I was reading the Gospel of John only to find out the main character dies at the end!" said Sally McGillicuddy, a fan of the show. "I hadn't even gotten to that episode of the series yet! And then I keep reading and find out he rises from the dead? Didn't see that coming! Double spoiler!"
Several publishers are taking it a step further by sealing certain pages of the Bible shut for people who prefer to read them only after they've seen the show. "We want to respect our readers' desires to consume this content in their own way, on their own schedule," said a rep for Zondervan.
Readers are also being warned that the book of Revelation may contain some spoilers for the fate of every soul who has ever lived. Not cool!
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
