WASHINGTON, D.C.—In an epic clapback against Republican governor of Florida Ron DeSantis, President Joe Biden launched a nuclear missile attack against the state today. Dozens of missiles sailed through the air and landed all across Florida.
While some legal scholars have questioned the constitutionality of such an action, Biden waved off these concerns, saying he'll just do the unconstitutional nuking now and will let the courts strike it down later if they deem that's not allowed.
"Look, I'm gonna fire the missiles, and if the courts later say I shouldn't have done that, then my bad," Biden said. "That's what checks and balances are for. We just go out there and get, you know, um, stuff, th—the stuff done, and then the courts or whatever they're called go and strike them down if they need to. It's how the Founders wanted it."
According to sources, Governor DeSantis is having none of it. "Look buddy, I don't know who you think you are, but nuking my entire state is unconstitutional, ok?" he said as the sky above him flashed white. "And if you think I'm just gonna sit here and take it, you got another thing coming!" The audience clapped and cheered and shared epic vidoes on social media of DeSantis standing up to Biden.
The Supreme Court will hear arguments for and against the constitutionality of nuking Florida sometime next year.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
