CHICAGO, IL—Smollett has been detained after his conviction pending his sentencing hearing. But he's already run into trouble, immediately claiming that two prison guards wearing MAGA hats attacked him while shouting "This is MAGA country!"
"I have been assaulted and attacked and I feared for my life," Smollett said in a statement. "I was minding my own business making a license plate for Kamala Harris and they came up to me wearing their red caps of hate. That's when I knew I was in trouble."
According to Smollett, the prison guards pushed him up against the wall and started beating him, telling him to "get out of here" and shouting "this is MAGA country" while repeatedly pummeling him.
"I barely escaped with my life," he said, tears in his eyes.
It was later revealed that the two prison guards were actually two Nigerians and that Jussie isn't in prison yet.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
