NORTH POLE—Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer received praise for taking a stunning and brave stance against outdated binary gender stagnation by changing his name to Rolanda and subsequently dominating every field in the North Pole’s annual Female Reindeer Games.
“Rolanda is a shining beacon for young, female reindeer in more ways than one,” stated the president of the North Pole Reindeer Games Committee, Bob Chairman. “She has shattered records in every event she has entered, which says so much about the physical potential of all female reindeer.”
Rolanda The Red-Nosed Reindeer did indeed break records in all events of the Female Reindeer Games, including the Sleigh Pull, Flying, Landing, Oat Bag Toss, Gingerbread House Trampling, and the Giant Slalom.
She struggled with the final event, Female Reindeer Feminine Ice Dancing, performing far worse than all other female competitors. The judges still awarded her the gold medal for being so stunning and brave.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
According to Senate minority leader Chuck Schumer, the DNC has uncovered incontrovertible evidence that Elon Musk has been plotting to stealthily infiltrate the Treasury Department in order to rob helpless grandmas, ever since he bought Twitter in 2022.
Limbers wife, Heather, had been feeling a little stressed and mopey, but after her husband sat her down and explained why she should be in a good mood, that all changed. "You know, you are right," she said. "Thank you for explaining to me why I should not be sad. It helps a lot."
https://babylonbee.com/news/man-helpfully-explains-to-wife-why-she-should-be-in-better-mood
The One Ring, forged by the Dark Lord Sauron in the fires of Mount Doom, was stolen from his person by Isildur during the Battle of Dagorlad. Now legal experts say that terrible injustice is finally being made right.
https://babylonbee.com/news/sauron-appointed-judge-rules-frodo-must-return-ring-to-sauron