EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND—According to sources, a dangerous right-wing extremist named J.K. Rowling has taken to the internet to spread hateful rhetoric. Authorities have called for decisive action to silence the bigoted fascist before she further spreads her message.
"Men aren't women," said the disgusting transphobe in a recent Twitter post. She then doubled down on her controversial message by also saying "Women aren't men."
"This is a hate crime," said EU Diversity Minister Günter Schreiber. "Everyone knows that women aren't a real thing, but rather a fantastical state of being that ebbs and flows through the human imagination like a wisp of magical fairy dust. That's just science."
The EU has called for a hearing to discuss what they can do to silence the deadly thought criminal before she gains an audience and teaches them basic biology.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
