U.S.—In a heated exchange on Twitter, a powerful white man viciously attacked Elizabeth Warren—a noble Cherokee squaw and Senator from Massachusetts.
"This violent verbal attack on me was literally a hate crime," said Warren as a single tear slowly rolled down her cheek. "The white man continues to oppress my people by resisting the government's efforts to tax them into oblivion and waste all their money on spending bills that we write to pay off our campaign donors. This basically makes him a freeloader."
The white attacker—named Elon Musk—simply responded with cruel memes showing Elizabeth Warren wearing eagle feathers and war paint to mock her proud heritage. He did, however, confirm that he will continue to pay her salary, in addition to the salaries of half of Washington D.C.
UPDATE: Certain details reported initially in this story are inaccurate, as we have confirmed Elon Musk is actually African American.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
