WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a catastrophic blow to democracy with disastrous consequences sure to ripple throughout the free world, a majority of democratically-elected representatives decided against legislation proposed by other democratically-elected representatives.
“This is the end of democracy as we know it,” said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, for the 486th time since 2016. “It’s unfathomable that the American people would allow such egregious destruction of our country’s democratic foundations by allowing the majority of elected representatives to represent them through legislative action.”
President Biden, responding to the subversive circumvention of democracy by following the proven process outlined in the U.S. Constitution, said, “I’ll tell you what, this is the worst thing since Corn Pop did the thing. The only way to save democracy now is by squashing liberties with the heavy hand of a powerful, centralized government.
In response to the tyrannical democratic legislative process spearheaded by the West Virginia despot Joe Manchin, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez authored a bill proposing that his state be absorbed by East Virginia.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
