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It's Official: New White House Dog To Be Named Karl Barx

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Move over, Chairman Meow! The Biden family has brought an adorable puppy into their family, and have decided to name this "pawesome" pal Karl Barx, after the brilliant economist Karl Marx, who inspired many of Biden’s policies during his flawless first year as President.

“We are so happy to welcome Karl Barx into our happy, non-dysfunctional family,” said First Lady Dr. Jill Biden, Esquire, as her husband showed their fur baby the proper way to chew on slippers. “Our new pup has really grown into his new name, demanding to control the distribution of the nation’s dog food. Simply adorable. I’m a real doctor.”

White House staff have already expressed concern over Karl Barx, claiming he growls at anyone in a leadership position until they give him whatever he wants but did not earn.

At publishing time, Karl Barx had rallied a pack of stray dogs, affectionately dubbed, “The Pawletariat,” by the Bidens, and was leading the pack to violently seize the means of production at the local tennis ball factory.

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

00:50:59
February 19, 2025

Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person

"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."

https://babylonbee.com/news/barron-tries-to-blend-in-on-campus-by-putting-his-knees-in-his-shoes-and-walking-around-like-a-normal-height-person

February 19, 2025

Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals

"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."

https://babylonbee.com/news/healthy-vegan-food-carefully-constructed-in-laboratory-using-957-chemicals

February 19, 2025

Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine

"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."

https://babylonbee.com/news/congress-warns-trumps-attempts-to-end-war-in-ukraine-could-result-in-end-of-war-in-ukraine

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