WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to sources, the Build Back Better Bill is pretty much dead now. While this has been a big blow to President Joe Biden’s agenda, one of the most upset politicians is Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, who was very curious to find out what’s in the bill by passing it.
“It’s $2 trillion in spending,” Pelosi told the press. “Who knows what it could have been? Maybe we all got candy. Or ice cream. Or a pony. Or maybe some sort of child tax credit. But since we didn’t pass it, we’ll never know.”
The Build Back Better Bill is thousands of pages long, and with everyone in Congress being very busy and very dumb, no one there was going to read it. But if it had been passed, it would have been handed over to bureaucrats to implement, and then we’d all see what the bill actually did.
“This is why Republicans hold us back,” Pelosi said. “Their lack of curiosity about what's in massive spending bills we never read. And their irrational belief that somehow spending $2 trillion could add to inflation.”
Spending bills are always a mystery until they get passed. No one is even sure how all the pages get added. Many believe it’s elves that appear in the middle of the night and hide billions of dollars in spending among pages and pages of jargon. Others say interns.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
