WASHINGTON, D.C.—The FBI is investigating a credible threat to the president by the president after President Biden was caught on camera during a live Christmas event repeating the phrase "Let's Go Brandon."
According to witnesses, the Bidens were speaking with a caller who uttered the notorious chant "Let's Go Brandon!" before hanging up.
"Let's Go Brandon! Yeah, I agree!" said Biden to the horror of witnesses and viewers across America.
"It was a truly dark moment for our democracy," said respected left-wing intellectual Joy Reid. "That dangerous right-wing white supremacist insurrectionist slur uttered by Joe Biden is a legitimate threat on the president's life and must be investigated immediately."
Experts are still trying to determine exactly how President Biden was seduced by the insidious toxicity of racist Republican slogans against himself, but some are suggesting it may be due to Biden spending unsupervised time on Facebook.
The January 6 committee has also issued a subpoena, demanding the president appear before the House to answer for his threats against the president.
"I vow to use every resource at my disposal to catch the perpetrator," said Biden in a statement. "We'll round up every person responsible and throw him in a paddy-wagon to be hauled off to the clink! Let's Go Brandon!"
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."