SAVANNAH, GA—After exhausting all options to fulfill their children’s Christmas wish lists and coming up short, Leonard and Mildred Fuller have admitted defeat. “The shelves are empty and shipping is backed up. Looks like we might have to just celebrate God coming to earth to save our souls. Brutal!"
Instead of brief dopamine hits from presents, the Fuller family will reportedly go to church with some friends, which is expected to be super lame. “A Christmas service will be fine and all but - can you play Zelda there? No. But I drove to literally 17 stores looking for a Nintendo Switch, and here we are. Jesus, the Lord of all creation, will just have to do."
According to Mildred, “We’re really banking that the kids internalized our Smallwoods sign that says ‘Jesus is the Reason for the Season.’ I'm not sure what else we could have done to impress that truth upon our children. Maybe we’ve never applied that sentiment to the Christmas season in any concrete way before, but hopefully a Savior for all mankind will be an alright consolation prize.”
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
