SAVANNAH, GA—After exhausting all options to fulfill their children’s Christmas wish lists and coming up short, Leonard and Mildred Fuller have admitted defeat. “The shelves are empty and shipping is backed up. Looks like we might have to just celebrate God coming to earth to save our souls. Brutal!"
Instead of brief dopamine hits from presents, the Fuller family will reportedly go to church with some friends, which is expected to be super lame. “A Christmas service will be fine and all but - can you play Zelda there? No. But I drove to literally 17 stores looking for a Nintendo Switch, and here we are. Jesus, the Lord of all creation, will just have to do."
According to Mildred, “We’re really banking that the kids internalized our Smallwoods sign that says ‘Jesus is the Reason for the Season.’ I'm not sure what else we could have done to impress that truth upon our children. Maybe we’ve never applied that sentiment to the Christmas season in any concrete way before, but hopefully a Savior for all mankind will be an alright consolation prize.”
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
As one of the few sane people in MA - THANK YOU - for that article about MA just now ie the entire state is declared incompetent! I sent you a one-time donation of $25 just for that. I tell them that all the time too. :)
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."