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With Supply Chain Issues, Families Forced To Settle For Being Thankful That God Came To Earth To Save Us

SAVANNAH, GA—After exhausting all options to fulfill their children’s Christmas wish lists and coming up short, Leonard and Mildred Fuller have admitted defeat. “The shelves are empty and shipping is backed up. Looks like we might have to just celebrate God coming to earth to save our souls. Brutal!"

Instead of brief dopamine hits from presents, the Fuller family will reportedly go to church with some friends, which is expected to be super lame. “A Christmas service will be fine and all but - can you play Zelda there? No. But I drove to literally 17 stores looking for a Nintendo Switch, and here we are. Jesus, the Lord of all creation, will just have to do."

According to Mildred, “We’re really banking that the kids internalized our Smallwoods sign that says ‘Jesus is the Reason for the Season.’ I'm not sure what else we could have done to impress that truth upon our children. Maybe we’ve never applied that sentiment to the Christmas season in any concrete way before, but hopefully a Savior for all mankind will be an alright consolation prize.”

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

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February 19, 2025

Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person

"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."

https://babylonbee.com/news/barron-tries-to-blend-in-on-campus-by-putting-his-knees-in-his-shoes-and-walking-around-like-a-normal-height-person

February 19, 2025

Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals

"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."

https://babylonbee.com/news/healthy-vegan-food-carefully-constructed-in-laboratory-using-957-chemicals

February 19, 2025

Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine

"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."

https://babylonbee.com/news/congress-warns-trumps-attempts-to-end-war-in-ukraine-could-result-in-end-of-war-in-ukraine

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