TALLAHASSEE, FL—According to experts, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis's COVID policies are so bad they are starting to cause skyrocketing COVID infection rates in leftist states.
"COVID is on the rise in New York and California," said Dr. Fauci. "I spoke with SCIENCE just this morning, and it told me that the real culprit here is Ron DeSantis."
Fauci and others revealed that the Florida governor's policies are so bad and permissive and hands-off that they have caused COVID to spike in Left-wing states, even though those states are obediently following the SCIENCE.
"This is just horrible," said Fauci. "Somehow, DeSantis has diabolically figured out how to reduce COVID rates in his state by giving his people freedom, which has the strange effect of infecting leftist states in record numbers. HE MUST BE STOPPED!" Fauci's eyes then rolled back into his head and he began uttering an ancient Sumerian tongue to find out what SCIENCE wanted next.
According to sources, most Floridians aren't aware of the latest frightening COVID numbers, as they are too busy outside having fun.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
