The Babylon Bee
Culture • News • Comedy
Fake news you can trust.
Interested? Want to learn more about the community?

Learn more first
10 Ways Christians Are Being Persecuted In America

All around the world, Christians face imprisonment and death for their beliefs. But in America, the persecution of Christians has become far worse. It's extremely difficult being a Christian in America these days, and here are ten horrifying reasons why.

1) Sometimes, people are mean on Twitter: It's horrible. Only Christians have to endure this treatment online. This is exactly what the early Christians must have felt like when they were burned alive!

2) Starbucks still won't put "Merry Christmas" on their holiday cups: Every morning when you pick up your double peppermint oat milk latte with extra sprinkles, you're assaulted by their godless heathen "holiday" message. Sad!

3) Thousands of Americans get shot every day just for being a Christian (in Halo): Come to think of it, maybe they're just getting shot because they're on the opposing team... BUT STILL!

4) One time a waitress got mad when I tipped her with one of those fake $100 bill gospel tracts: Well, EXCUSE ME for trying to save your soul!

5) Many Christians still haven't gotten their hands on a PS5: This is just the kind of suffering the Bible warned us about.

6) Sometimes, the lines at Chick-Fil-A are really long: Oh, the humanity!

7) They still haven't made an Oreo flavor that acknowledges our Christian beliefs: We have a Lady Gaga Oreo and an LGBTQ+ rainbow Oreo, but no cookies with the Nicene Creed printed on them? We are exiles in this land.

8) This week's church bulletin is folded a little crooked and it's bothering my OCD: Someone needs to talk to Church Secretary Ethel Rutherford about this.

9) They take Christian superheroes like Superman and make them gay: Who do we Christians have to look up to if not Superman?

10) At least 3462 Christians, including ten priests or pastors, were murdered in the first 200 days of 2021: Oh wait-- that was in Nigeria. Our bad.

post photo preview
Interested? Want to learn more about the community?

Learn more first
What else you may like…
Videos
Posts
🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

00:50:59
9 hours ago

UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion

"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."

https://babylonbee.com/news/ufo-files-reveal-aliens-here-and-already-defrauded-minnesota-for-20-billion

9 hours ago

Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws

"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrat-effort-to-retake-congress-once-again-thwarted-by-existence-of-laws

10 hours ago

Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote

"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."

https://babylonbee.com/news/virginia-considering-new-measure-that-just-makes-it-illegal-for-republicans-to-vote

Available on mobile and TV devices
google store google store app store app store
google store google store app tv store app tv store amazon store amazon store roku store roku store
Powered by Locals