The Babylon Bee
Comedy • News • Culture
Fake news you can trust.
Interested? Want to learn more about the community?

Learn more first
Airlines Insist Flights Aren't Being Canceled, They're Being Held Accountable

U.S.—Following news reports that another 2,800 flights had been canceled on Tuesday—after more than 6,000 were canceled on Christmas Eve and thousands more over the weekend—spokespersons for numerous airlines came forward to protest that flights are not being canceled at all.

“When a flight doesn’t take off due to problematic crew shortages, that is not cancellation,” Delta said in a statement. “It is merely the airline holding that flight accountable.”

A United spokesperson stated, “Flight cancellation simply isn’t real. The whole concept is a smokescreen to distract from actual systemic forces of flight suppression.” When asked what, exactly, that means, the spokesperson explained that none of these flights are banned from flying again. "These flights will have plenty of work in the future, as long as they get hired by The Daily Wire."

Passengers who had been stranded at San Francisco International Airport for over twelve hours are now being urged to "build their own" aircraft.

post photo preview
Interested? Want to learn more about the community?

Learn more first
What else you may like…
Videos
Posts
🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

00:50:59

Where can I see the recent Seth Dillon talk about Twitter/X and the censorship campaign against Babylon Bee. I watched it, lived it, tried to share it on Facebook, but it disappeared.

March 07, 2024

Happy Thursday. Have a blessed day.

post photo preview
March 05, 2024

Your Giggles for Today

A guy calls 911 in a panic. “My wife is having a baby! Her contractions are only one minute apart!” “Calm down,” the 911 operator says. “Is this her first child?” “No, you idiot!” the guy shouts. “This is her husband!”

A little girl asks her mother, “How did the human race appear?” The mother answers, “Well, God made Adam and Eve and then they had kids. So all mankind was made.” Two days later the little girl asks her father the exact same question. The father answers, “Many years ago, there were monkeys from which the entire human race evolved.” The confused little girl returns to her mother and says, “Mom, you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said man developed from monkeys. Why do you have different stories?” The mother answers, “Well, I was referring to my side of the family and your dad was talking about his side.” (Lol! A oldie that needed repeating).

“When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me . ....

Available on mobile and TV devices
google store google store app store app store
google store google store app tv store app tv store amazon store amazon store roku store roku store
Powered by Locals