NEW YORK, NY—After a jury found Ghislaine Maxwell guilty on five counts in her sex trafficking trial, Maxwell's sentence was quickly handed down: ten minutes unsupervised in a room with Hillary Clinton.
"Considering the gross immorality of your crimes, the court sees fitting to put you in a room with Hillary Clinton, turn off the cameras, tell the prison guards to take a short, ten-minute break, and, you know, see how it goes for ya," the judge said. He banged his gavel. "May God have mercy on your soul."
Maxwell, who had been stoic in court up to this point, broke down sobbing. Through her lawyer, she asked if she could have some kind of melee weapon during the ten minutes with Mrs. Clinton. The court relented and granted her a pool noodle.
At publishing time, the court had also declared that should Maxwell survive her ten minutes with Hillary Clinton, a millstone will be tied around her neck and she'll be "yeeted into the sea".
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
