WORLD—A recent trend has emerged in recent weeks where wacky conspiracy theories are being confirmed as fact within a six-week window. Recent examples include the CDC admitting that masks do nothing, investigators discovering the COVID virus began in a Wuhan lab, and Alex Jones proving that the frogs really are turning gay. Now, with the world descending further into uncertainty, the world has begun questioning what other conspiracy theories could become a reality.
"I've dismissed conspiracy all my life," claimed John Smith, an average man from Albuquerque, NM. "But now I'm not so sure."
Smith isn't alone. Sources confirm that citizens in China were alarmed last week when they found out the Tiananmen Square Massacre actually happened. Meanwhile, in France, people are learning for the first time that their country surrendered to Germany during World War II. These conspiracy theories have become fact virtually overnight and the consequences are potentially disastrous.
"I'm looking over my shoulder everywhere I go. Gotta' keep an eye out for Bigfoot," said John Smith. "If everything the news tells me is wrong then everything could be true!"
At publishing time, Tawain discovered they are an independent country, causing their relationship with China to take a significant hit.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
