CEDAR CITY, UT—According to sources, local wife Sarah Quint has encouraged her husband to buy a new video game he's been wanting, which will allow her to justify her impending purchase of an air fryer, new shoes, cute pens, and a "really cute" $300 umbrella.
“I have given my husband a pass to buy something silly,” said Sarah as she symbolically washed her hands, “so I am now innocent of this financial burden.”
This is not the first time Sarah has employed such a tactic. She previously encouraged her husband to buy an overpriced graphic novel so she wouldn't feel so bad about purchasing an expensive 10-year day spa membership. "Every time he brings up the spa membership, I just point to his stack of pristine, original Walking Dead comics," she said. "Checkmate!"
According to sources, Sarah's husband, Greg, has grown suspicious of his wife's seemingly unending generosity. “Every time I’m about to sit down and talk finances with her I find myself going shopping. Maybe I should stop buying stuff,” he said. "As soon as buy just one more game on Steam."
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
