U.S.—Supermarkets nationwide are no longer selling chicken noodle soup in an attempt to combat COVID-19 self-medication with unauthorized treatments. Medical experts have grown concerned by a recent trend in the infected to self-medicate with the popular soup to feel better.
White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki confirmed a mandate to limit chicken noodle soup was recommended by the CDC. “As in the case of Ivermectin, a known horse de-wormer, many people were attempting to self-medicate with a hot bowl of soup. This is giving people a false sense of security and leading to violent overdoses in which belching and nausea occurred,” she clarified.
When pressed for more information Psaki referred reporters to the CDC, which will not answer their phone calls.
Racist Fox News reporter, Peter Doocy, then asked if clam chowder was being pushed as an alternative to chicken noodle because Dr. Fauci had investments in the clamming industry. “The American people want to know if the government is being influenced by Big Clam,” he added.
Chicken noodle soup will still be available with a doctor’s note and valid proof of insurance.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
