NEW YORK, NY—Responding to a 6-3 SCOTUS decision striking down President Biden's unconstitutional vaccine mandate, Pfizer's CEO Albert Bourla took to CNN to condemn the ruling, which he says "violates our God-given constitutional right to produce experimental drugs and use the full power of government to force the entire population to inject them into their bodies."
"I know private citizens are supposed to have rights," said Bourla, "but what about the right of corrupt, multi-billion-dollar mega-corporations that are in bed with governments all around the world? What about our right to make billions and billions of dollars by forcing you to take a drug, even if you don't need it and it kills you? I thought this was AMERICA!"
Bourla confirmed that if everyone on earth isn't forced to take his new upcoming Omicron vaccine, he may not be able to afford his next payment on his flying yacht, which also doubles as a casino and brothel.
"Have some empathy for drug company CEOs like me," he said.
Dr. Fauci concurred with Bourla's opinion and announced that his next engineered virus will be much stronger in order to compel more people to take the vaccine. Pfizer's stock fully recovered within minutes of the announcement.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
