COLLEYVILLE, TX—In a press conference after the synagogue hostage situation this weekend, the FBI said they are still looking for a motive that would explain why an Islamic extremist would attack a Jewish house of worship.
"Please be patient with us, because determining motive is really really hard," said Special Agent Deebles McPaddycake to reporters. "To be fair, we still haven't even figured out a motive for the 9/11 attacks yet. Who knows what drove a coordinated team of Islamic extremists to fly planes into buildings? According to our best experts, these men were victims of white supremacy, and they seemed to really hate buildings—so that's probably why they did that. We're still working on it though. It's a real mystery."
FBI Director Christopher Wray confirmed that they will get around to investigating the motive behind the synagogue shooter as soon as they finish up their investigation into the motives behind the "baffling" attack on the World Trade Center. "We may need 4-5 more years of investigation to find any answers," he said.
FBI agents are also looking into the mysterious reasons why the entire country hates the FBI, but say they may be 10-15 years away from any clear answers. "We're pretty sure it has something to do with white supremacy," said Wray.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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As one of the few sane people in MA - THANK YOU - for that article about MA just now ie the entire state is declared incompetent! I sent you a one-time donation of $25 just for that. I tell them that all the time too. :)
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
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"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
