WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democrats have issued a dire warning to the American people that Republicans will steal the election in 2022 by blocking all Democrat efforts to steal the election.
"Republicans want to destroy our democracy by stealing the election, just like Hitler," said Nancy Pelosi in a speech supporting the Voting Rights Act. "If Republicans are not stopped, they will block all our noble efforts to steal the election for ourselves, because Republicans are racist and want to bring back Jim Crow. We cannot allow that!"
The crowd of enthusiastic school kids in the audience who had been bussed in for the speech cheered in agreement.
Democrat strategists agree that their best hope in the midterms is to cheat as much as possible. They warn that if their cheating is stopped by Republicans, Republican candidates may win, which is the same thing as literal fascism.
"When Democrats cheat, that's just Democracy as Martin Luther King intended," said Pelosi. "When Republicans stop Democrats from cheating, that's an unfair attack on Democracy itself. We will not rest until the will of felons, illegal immigrants, and dead people are heard and every vote is counted!"
Republicans started to say something in objection but stopped short after being told that was cheating.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine
"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."
