NEW JERUSALEM—According to the Apostle John, the hotly anticipated wedding feast of the Lamb will be catered by the popular restaurant Chick-fil-A.
Guests are instructed to be prompt and dressed for the occasion. Late guests, or those wearing lame clothes, will be thrown into something called an "outer darkness" and, most importantly, won't get any waffle fries. According to sources, their invitation will then be passed on to literally anyone who bothers to follow proper wedding etiquette.
"It's an honor to be chosen to provide food for the great wedding feast of the Lamb," said a Chick-fil-A spokesperson. "It's a little hard to plan for because we haven't been told the exact day or hour of the event, but we'll be ready and waiting."
"As long as it's not on a Sunday," they added.
In-N-Out will be catering the afterparty, while those in hell will be forced to eat Whataburger.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
