WASHINGTON, D.C.—After 12 straight months of collapsing popularity, President Biden finally saw an uptick in his approval rating after his mean comment to a journalist reminded Americans what it was like to have a real president.
“The President is up across the board according to multiple polls,” said political analyst Carlos Del Rove. “Cursing at a journalist on a hot mic was probably the most presidential thing he has done since he was sworn in, at least according to everyday citizens. Voters’ memories are shorter than a common gnat, but it’s very clear that many people long for the days of low gas prices, real patriotism, and super mean tweets.”
Biden staffers pounced on the opportunity to improve Biden’s popularity by granting him access to a Twitter-enabled phone so he could tweet mean things like a real president, but sources close to the President say he just ate the phone.
Upon hearing the news that the President said a mean thing to a journalist, CNN’s Jim Acosta and Jake Tapper were reportedly asking around for the date and location of the unfortunate journalist’s funeral services.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
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Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
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"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
