OTTAWA—Prime Minister Justin Trudeau reportedly fled his residence at Rideau Cottage this morning, sneaking past a small fringe minority of 50,000 racist truckers while wearing the perfect disguise: blackface.
The escape was first discovered when his wife entered his bedroom and discovered a dummy where her husband would normally be. A recorder was playing a loop of him talking about abortion and non-binary indigenous culture which he often does in his sleep, so she almost didn't notice.
According to sources, an empty container of shoe polish sat on a nightstand next to the bed.
Justin Trudeau, who has received criticism for tyrannical COVID restrictions and vaccine mandates, deftly avoided facing his constituents, blending into the crowd by applying a healthy coat of blackface to look like a fabulous sultan of India. The perfect disguise.
The trucker convoy has not changed its plans. "I'm pretty sure he's not the only hoser that runs Canada," said Rick Dubois. "We're going to hit up the House of Commons and see if they can do us a solid and give us our freedoms back, eh?"
At publishing time, Trudeau was detained by mounties after being pulled over for driving while black.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
