EL PASO, TX—Sporting a safety helmet and holding blueprints in his naturally-tanned hands, former president Donald J. Trump gave orders to busy construction crews as work began on a project that may very well save Democracy as we know it: a much higher border wall to keep out President Biden’s migrant flights into the heart of America.
“I love all immigrants, probably more than anyone, even the illegal ones, which they are, they are illegal, very, very illegal. This is a nation of laws, the very best laws, including some of my own laws, actually,” said Trump as the first section of 30,000-foot high wall was hoisted into place by a bunch of construction cranes stacked on top of each other. “My father was an immigrant, so I know exactly what these poor Mexicans are going through as they trek on foot from South America and Haiti.”
When asked if he was concerned about Trump building a wall to stop the covert flights shuttling illegal immigrants under cover of night into cities across the U.S., as confirmed by video evidence and eyewitness reports, President Biden insisted there was no border crisis, no migrant flights, no illegal immigrants, no border, no airplanes, and no president.
At publishing time, Trump’s new wall had already proved an effective deterrent as three planes had crashed into it.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
