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Trump Designing Much, Much Higher Wall To Keep Out Biden’s Migrant Flights

EL PASO, TX—Sporting a safety helmet and holding blueprints in his naturally-tanned hands, former president Donald J. Trump gave orders to busy construction crews as work began on a project that may very well save Democracy as we know it: a much higher border wall to keep out President Biden’s migrant flights into the heart of America.

“I love all immigrants, probably more than anyone, even the illegal ones, which they are, they are illegal, very, very illegal. This is a nation of laws, the very best laws, including some of my own laws, actually,” said Trump as the first section of 30,000-foot high wall was hoisted into place by a bunch of construction cranes stacked on top of each other. “My father was an immigrant, so I know exactly what these poor Mexicans are going through as they trek on foot from South America and Haiti.”

When asked if he was concerned about Trump building a wall to stop the covert flights shuttling illegal immigrants under cover of night into cities across the U.S., as confirmed by video evidence and eyewitness reports, President Biden insisted there was no border crisis, no migrant flights, no illegal immigrants, no border, no airplanes, and no president.

At publishing time, Trump’s new wall had already proved an effective deterrent as three planes had crashed into it.

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

00:50:59
February 19, 2025

Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person

"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."

https://babylonbee.com/news/barron-tries-to-blend-in-on-campus-by-putting-his-knees-in-his-shoes-and-walking-around-like-a-normal-height-person

February 19, 2025

Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals

"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."

https://babylonbee.com/news/healthy-vegan-food-carefully-constructed-in-laboratory-using-957-chemicals

February 19, 2025

Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine

"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."

https://babylonbee.com/news/congress-warns-trumps-attempts-to-end-war-in-ukraine-could-result-in-end-of-war-in-ukraine

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