1. You give your wife the "Tucker Carlson" look while she's talking. If you've ever gotten in trouble for staring at your wife with Carlson's patented Resting Baffled Face™, you might be watching too much Fox News.
2. You start thinking maybe you need SeaBond denture cream. Those commercials start to sound pretty good late at night.
3. Sean Hannity is starting to look attractive. Oh no. Turn it off immediately!
4. The other people in the old folks' home say, "Hey, Gilbert! Turn off the Fox News already!" If your fellow members of the Greatest Generation think you're watching too much, turn the ol' tube off and go play some shuffleboard.
5. You instinctively add the phrase "may he live forever" every time you say "Donald Trump". Like a kneejerk reaction.
6. Your crazy uncle's rants at Thanksgiving are starting to make a lot of sense. You start thinking, "You know what? Uncle Fred actually makes some really good points."
7. You're not aware of a single good thing Biden has done. Well, to be fair...
8. You call everything you don't like "woke" or "cancel culture". Morning traffic? Woke. Decaf coffee? Cancel culture! Marvel movies? Woke AND cancel culture!
9. Your bedroom pillow, your throw pillows, and your couch cushions are all MyPillows. Oh no! You've been brainwashed!
Remember -- if you're watching too much Fox News, there is hope. Just get your fake news from The Babylon Bee instead.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
