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9 Signs You're Watching Too Much Fox News

1. You give your wife the "Tucker Carlson" look while she's talking. If you've ever gotten in trouble for staring at your wife with Carlson's patented Resting Baffled Face™, you might be watching too much Fox News.

2. You start thinking maybe you need SeaBond denture cream. Those commercials start to sound pretty good late at night.

3. Sean Hannity is starting to look attractive. Oh no. Turn it off immediately!

4. The other people in the old folks' home say, "Hey, Gilbert! Turn off the Fox News already!" If your fellow members of the Greatest Generation think you're watching too much, turn the ol' tube off and go play some shuffleboard.

5. You instinctively add the phrase "may he live forever" every time you say "Donald Trump". Like a kneejerk reaction.

6. Your crazy uncle's rants at Thanksgiving are starting to make a lot of sense. You start thinking, "You know what? Uncle Fred actually makes some really good points."

7. You're not aware of a single good thing Biden has done. Well, to be fair...

8. You call everything you don't like "woke" or "cancel culture". Morning traffic? Woke. Decaf coffee? Cancel culture! Marvel movies? Woke AND cancel culture!

9. Your bedroom pillow, your throw pillows, and your couch cushions are all MyPillows. Oh no! You've been brainwashed!

Remember -- if you're watching too much Fox News, there is hope. Just get your fake news from The Babylon Bee instead.

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🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

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February 19, 2025

Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person

"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."

https://babylonbee.com/news/barron-tries-to-blend-in-on-campus-by-putting-his-knees-in-his-shoes-and-walking-around-like-a-normal-height-person

February 19, 2025

Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals

"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."

https://babylonbee.com/news/healthy-vegan-food-carefully-constructed-in-laboratory-using-957-chemicals

February 19, 2025

Congress Warns Trump's Attempts To End War In Ukraine Could Result In End Of War In Ukraine

"If Trump ends the war in Ukraine, then the war in Ukraine will stop," warned House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "Trump is clearly not thinking about all the terrible things that will happen to us if the war in Ukraine ends."

https://babylonbee.com/news/congress-warns-trumps-attempts-to-end-war-in-ukraine-could-result-in-end-of-war-in-ukraine

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