OTTAWA—Prime Minister Justin Trudeau signed an executive order on Friday authorizing the Canadian Mounted Police to have all geese rounded up and shot for honking in solidarity with truckers. The "freedom convoy" of truckers has been a thorn in the tyrannical Canadian government's side since January 29th, but Trudeau and his cabinet are confident that annihilating avian support will demoralize the truckers and send them packing.
Mounties began chasing geese on Saturday, following them around with burlap sacks and wacky oversized nets. Captured geese are being blindfolded, lined up, and shot—sometimes in mid-honk.
"We now view the Canadian Goose as an enemy of the state," said Trudeau in a statement over Zoom. "If you see something, say something. We must end this fascist honking once and for all."
Trudeau, visibly shaken by honking geese, claims the attack on his tyranny has exacerbated his fake COVID diagnosis. "I may never be able to meet with the truckers face to face and it's all because of these hateful geese, not because I'm afraid," he said.
Minister of Health Jean-Yves Duclos echoed his dear leader's sentiments when he spoke with the press on Monday morning.
"Trucks honk. Fascists honk. Geese honk," he said. "Get it?"
According to sources, Trudeau is expected to stay in hiding until the Geese migrate north in the spring.
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