RICHMOND, VA—Virginia Governor Glenn Youngkin, a known tyrant, has ordered his citizens to do whatever they want when it comes to wearing masks. His fascist ideals are expected to propel the state into total chaos as people begin to make their own decisions on how to live their life this March.
Gov. Youngkin held a press conference to announce the new undemocratic policy, which follows in the jack-booted footsteps of fascist governor Ron DeSantis.
"I think it best that Virginians do whatever they feel like doing," said the evil fascist pig who loves freedom. "People are capable of accepting personal responsibility for their own actions."
The literal Nazi then took several questions from the press, taking the time to give clear answers without evading any issues. Sources reveal many exchanges were quite heated since the Governor clearly wants to murder every man, woman, and child with his weaponized freedom.
NBC correspondent Clarice McBird asked: "Governor Youngkin, why do you want people to die?"
"I do not want people to die. Next question—"
"Sir, a follow-up!" the McBird persisted. "Why do you want to murder my grandfather?"
The murderous tyrant patiently answered McBird's questions, and other similar questions, but could provide no satisfactory answers. Because he's literally Hitler.
Democratic leadership in Washington was quick to dismiss Gov. Youngkin's sentiments, calling them "outlandish" and "un-American."
"How can we, as a modern society living in 2022, allow people to do whatever they want?" asked House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. "We will retaliate against the malevolent Virginia governorship by grandstanding night and day!"
Residents of Virginia have until the end of February to live in a safe zone with zero free will until the veil is dropped in March. Nearby Maryland is expected to take in refugees as long as they're willing to sleep on the streets of Baltimore.
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"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."