ATLANTA, GA—The CDC has released new guidance for how states should deal with the pandemic by telling everyone to just go ahead and do what Texas did 12 months ago.
"Yeah, we were pretty much wrong about literally everything. Sorry about that!" said CDC Director Rochelle Walensky to the press. "It would seem the official science has changed. We should now be doing whatever Texas has been doing for over a year. To be clear, this doesn't mean Texas is good. They're still bad and we hate them. We just want to make sure that's understood."
The gathered journalists then began to scream towards the sky and hyperventilate at the thought of returning to some degree of normalcy, as well as the thought of Texans actually being right about something.
"I recommend we just drop all this and pretend it never happened," said Walensky. "I'm still gonna be paid my salary, right?"
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
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As one of the few sane people in MA - THANK YOU - for that article about MA just now ie the entire state is declared incompetent! I sent you a one-time donation of $25 just for that. I tell them that all the time too. :)
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
