The Babylon Bee
Culture • News • Comedy
Fake news you can trust.
Interested? Want to learn more about the community?

Learn more first
Clarence Thomas Surprised To Hear How Important Black Representation On SCOTUS Is To Man Who Viciously Tried To Destroy Him

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas was surprised to learn last week that black representation is very important to President Biden. This comes after Biden previously attempted to block Thomas's nomination while viciously attempting to destroy his life and reputation.

"Black representation matters, folks!" said Biden to a group of journalists outside the White House. "I have always been extremely passionate about black people being judges on, um, courts and stuff. It's all I've dreamt about since I was a young boy on the tough streets of Baltimore!"

When asked about how he felt about Clarance Thomas being on the court despite his best efforts, Biden replied: "Who?" before reaching down to sniff his pet cat which he had mistaken for a very small child.

Thomas, who had been smeared over sexual harassment claims that were never actually filed, was humiliated on live TV by Joe Biden who, at the time was a 49-year-old balding racist serving in the senate. Biden turned the confirmation hearing into a circus because he disagreed with Clarence Thomas' views on a few things.

"I can't rightfully vote for someone who thinks babies deserve to live," said Biden at the time. "Plus, you're a black! Whoever heard of such an outlandish idea as a black on the court! I vote nay!"

Biden reaffirmed his commitment to nominating a woman of color to the court yesterday, and promised to pick someone "clean and articulate."

post photo preview
Interested? Want to learn more about the community?

Learn more first
What else you may like…
Videos
Posts
🎙Christianity, Star Wars Prequels, and Staying In California | The Dave Rubin Interview

Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books

The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.

00:50:59
May 09, 2026

UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion

"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."

https://babylonbee.com/news/ufo-files-reveal-aliens-here-and-already-defrauded-minnesota-for-20-billion

May 09, 2026

Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws

"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrat-effort-to-retake-congress-once-again-thwarted-by-existence-of-laws

May 08, 2026

Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote

"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."

https://babylonbee.com/news/virginia-considering-new-measure-that-just-makes-it-illegal-for-republicans-to-vote

Available on mobile and TV devices
google store google store app store app store
google store google store app tv store app tv store amazon store amazon store roku store roku store
Powered by Locals