INGLEWOOD, CA—A who's who of LA elite, many of whom have been vocal advocates of mask mandates, appeared to be huge hypocrites on Sunday as they cheered on the Rams at Super Bowl LVI while maskless. However, they were quick to assure everyone that they had been wearing hi-tech invisible masks only rich people know about.
"No, we were totally wearing masks! They're just... um, invisible. They use... um, top-secret invisibility technology only rich people know about," explained Lebron James to a tearful child who has never known a life without masks.
Lebron James, crypto-miner Matt Damon, and director Ben Affleck were just a few of the celebrities who had access to the invisible masks. Damon, who previously starred in Elysium, a film about a ruling class who doesn't share their life-saving medical equipment, was reportedly oblivious to the irony.
"Now don't forget to mask up and get vaccinated! We're all in this together," chimed in a laughing J.Lo, also wearing a hi-tech invisible mask.
When asked if the invisible masks will be made available to common people, Jennifer Lopez became offended. "I put on my diamond-studded pants the same as everyone else, one leg at a time!"
Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti was also in attendance and appeared to be unmasked but confirmed he didn't need a hi-tech one as he can hold his breath for over four hours.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
UFO Files Reveal Aliens Here And Already Defrauded Minnesota For $20 Billion
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
Democrat Effort To Retake Congress Once Again Thwarted By Existence Of Laws
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
Virginia Considering New Measure That Just Makes It Illegal For Republicans To Vote
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."
