WASHINGTON, D.C.—Scientists for the Democratic party have announced a surprise change in science, after previous science was determined to be too unpopular to remain science.
“We’ve been poring over the data, specifically the opinions of suburban women in swing states, and it’s become clear that masking children has suddenly become completely ineffective for preventing COVID,” said Democratic pollster scientist Bob McNeill. “It’s really a shocking turnaround, as just last week masks were super effective and anyone who disagreed was a murderer. Gosh, science is amazing!”
CNN’s Jim Acosta, who just last week called optional masking “worse than a Soviet police state”, hailed the remarkable breakthrough. “Once again, this shows how Democrats lead the way. Last week, we lead the way in accusing people of child abuse if they didn't put a muzzle on a two-year-old. Now, this week, we are again leading the way in removing outdated mask mandates—and it just feels so good to be able to look parents in the eye and say 'you're welcome.' Now come, you poor ingrates, come and let your faces, at last, gaze once again upon my handsomeness!"
At publishing time, Jen Psaki was decrying Republicans as the party of masking children while her fan club nodded furiously.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
