SAN FRANCISCO—After parents in San Francisco overwhelmingly voted out their school board, a former school board member was spotted on a street corner with a cardboard sign which read, "Will Abuse Children 4 Food." The newly unemployed civil servant appeared disheveled after a restless night of not harming children through forced masking, sexual grooming in gender ideology, and Communist indoctrination.
"I'm a hard worker," said Olivia Nelson. "I will happily harm a child's developmental growth and transform them into obedient brain-dead lemmings for food! I'm even willing to rough them up a little."
According to sources, Nelson has set up shop in a highly trafficked area of Fisherman's Wharf, a place popular with tourists. Authorities believe she'll last there for about a week before she defecates in public and is forcibly relocated to Castro Street by police.
"We're not going to tolerate any homeless at Pier 39," said SFPD Chief Daryl Mates. "Abusing children is fine, but transients are just gross."
At publishing time, other former board members were seen begging Nancy Pelosi for their jobs back. The House Speaker reportedly pretended to have no idea who they were.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
State and local officials rush to create a catalog of minors to hand over to those on the Epstein client list.
"We want to protect the children" This new bill (Illinois SB 3977) is very similar to the recently passed California bill (and the introduced Colorado bill) and, if passed, would set a deadline of January 1st, 2028 for compliance.
https://legiscan.com/IL/bill/SB3977/2025
Barron Tries To Blend In On Campus By Putting His Knees In His Shoes And Walking Around Like A Normal-Height Person
"I just want to be treated like any other 7-foot son of a billionaire president," said Barron to reporters. "Everywhere I go, I hear: 'Who is that giant person?' or 'Hey look! It's the heir to the throne of the American Empire, may he live forever!' or 'REEEEEEEEE!' It's really exhausting."
Healthy Vegan Food Carefully Constructed In Laboratory Using 957 Chemicals
"You have got to get rid of all the bad stuff, like the meat and the animal products," said lab technician Luka Ranier, pouring a beaker of methylphenylketone into a bubbling broth of 2,2-dimethylpropyl benzoyletate as part of the standard process of making a meatless burger. "We manage to get our job done here with just 957 simple compounds that have been optimized for human health and consumption."
