BIRMINGHAM, AL—According to sources, local dad Dave Manheart recently completed a project that will help enable his family to save money on groceries. After much research and 10 weekends of hard labor, Dave has succeeded in constructing a backyard chicken coop. With a small investment of just $3000 on lumber and supplies, he now can get 16¢ eggs for free.
"With the supply chain issues and inflation, it's important to be independent," said Manheart. "Plus, this new chicken coop will look really great on my wife's Instagram feed, which is what this whole thing is really about."
Local witnesses described Manheart's pride in the newly constructed chicken coop as “really cute.” His wife assured reporters that they will enjoy eating ten eggs a day since they are free.
After leveling a spot in the backyard with a backhoe Dave rented for just $500, putting together the coop was fairly easy and only resulted in two trips to the emergency room with accidental injuries. “Dave says his back will be fine now that he’s no longer lifting lumber, and the doctors had no problem re-attaching his finger,” said his appreciative wife Deb.
“Daddy bought the cutest little baby chicks!” said his little girl. “But then our dog Buster ate them so we had to get new chicks.” The dog now has an $800 invisible fence to keep him away from the chicken coop.
“That was totally worth it,” said Dave as he proudly surveyed his handiwork.
At the time of publication, the homeowners association had issued a fine of $500 for the unapproved chicken coop.
Kyle and Ethan talk to Dave Rubin about identifying as a conservative, California, and Christianity. Dave has written a new book titled Don’t Burn This Book available wherever you find books
The 🐝 Podcast is also available on all podcast platforms.
"They're here among us," alien specialist Donny Marcus told the press. "I've been studying these beings for years — they're smart, and they're resourceful. It took no time at all for them to defraud Tim Walz's government of billions through Medicare and Medicaid fraud. The government didn't even ask why they needed the money; they just forked it over. The invasion people have been anticipating has been happening right under our noses all along."
"The Democratic Party would be winning in a landslide if it weren't for that confounded Constitution," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have so many great ideas on how to win, but people keep saying things like 'Hey, that's illegal' or 'That's literally a crime.' It's becoming disheartening."
"This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."